We often think of stress as bad–a killer, an underlier of countless diseases. But stress is actually meant to help us. Stress is a protective, positive response to a stimulus. When we’re in danger, we get stressed, and that stress boosts our brain power, helping us think with laser-like focus and even remember things better [source]. It kicks our bodies into high gear, slows down our experience of time, and heightens our senses, so we can deal with whatever life is throwing our way.
Science shows a few interesting, unexpected benefits of moderate stress. As our bodies gather all their defenses to protect us in difficult situations, stress temporarily boosts our immune systems and can even help us heal faster [source]. For mothers, moderate stress can be good for their babies as it sends a signal from mother to baby to be alert. Moderate levels of stress while pregnant was found in one study to be related to improved motor skills in those babies by age 2.
Stress is our inborn fight-or-flight response that protects us, and yet we devote so much time and money to stress-reducing activities, self-care days, and products like candles and scents that boast that they’re “stress-relieving.” This is because oftentimes, our bodies stay in this stressed out zone–designed to be used only in the short term–for prolonged periods of time, wearing on us until we feel like a bundle of nerves. This bad stress or high stress is different than moderate stress or good stress in that it feels ongoing and unmanageable.
Unfortunately, there will always be stressors in life, but the good news is that we can get better at handling stress. By practicing stress management, those ongoing, unmanageable stressors will feel less grinding and less exhausting on our nerves.
We can practice getting better at stress by repeatedly encountering the same stressful situation until it no longer feels stressful. Over time, you’ll see every scenario play out and eventually realize you can handle any of them. A good way to practice stress in a controlled, short-term situation is to do an activity that provokes a healthy level of nerves but doesn’t last too long.
One great activity for this is to join Toastmasters. Public speaking is extremely stressful for most people, but after the first few speeches, you’ll realize no speech lasts forever, no one heckled you; you didn’t die. Eventually, when you’re called on to speak, you won’t even notice stress, but more a healthy, exciting level of adrenaline as you step up to the challenge that you know used to terrify you but no longer does.
Another perfect activity to improve stress management is to take a dance class. Dance classes can be intimidating. When you step onto the dance floor, it can feel like stepping into the spotlight, but the more classes you take, the more accustomed you’ll feel to the pre-class nerves, and the more confidence you’ll look forward to gaining from their inevitable completion.
Mastering these stressful but manageable situations like dancing and public speaking conditions our brains to look differently at stress. Oftentimes we realize we’re stressed, and then we stress that the stress will never end. But once we train our brains to look differently at stress through practice, rather than feeling stressed and then subsequently discouraged, our brains feel stressed and subsequently empowered, knowing we will rise to the occasion like we always do. With enough practice, our brains can connote stress not with defeat, but with the adrenaline-boosting, confidence-building knowledge that we are about to accomplish yet another awesome thing.
